MMMMM

November 31, 2015

MY RICE-COOKING SKILLS ARE IMPROVING. ALSO MY BEAN-COOKING SKILLS. I'LL SOON BE A WHITE-AFRICAN PAULA DEAN. I'VE BEEN GETTING SOME PROMPTINGS FROM THE SPIRIT TO START MY OWN COOKING SHOW WHEN I GET BACK.. "MAESER'S 'MAZING 'MERICAN MEAL-MAKING" OR IN SHORT, "MMMMM..." ... YES, YOU MAY HAVE "SEEN WHAT I DID THERE."

Q)  Tell us about your new companion.  Tell us about being the DL's comp.  Do you go with him to all his responsibilities?

A) HE'S A SOLID TROUT. HE HAS HIS GIRLFRIENDS PHOTO ON HIS DESK THAT STRAIGHT UP LOOKS LIKE LAFAWNDUH WENT AND TOOK GLAMOUR SHOTS WITH DEB.

Q)  is it ok to ask you about African Christmas traditions now?  

A)  THE ONLY THING IVE SEEN IS CHEAP FIREWORKS. THEY CALL THEM CRACKERS. AND YES, I TAKE OFFENSE TO THIS RACIALLY MOTIVATED LABEL.

Q) can you talk in the African Accent yet?  

A)  ME GBO NA. MY NYE MISSIONARIES? MA DA FUFU. MI VA BE MI GBLO MAWU NYA NA MI. ME LOR WO. (I LOVE YOU)

December 7, 2015

I'm glad to say me and my fellow tough trout companion are getting along better. His Lafawnduh picture still startles me when I walk in the room after the day is over. Do you think anybody thinks I'm a failure, cause I come home to startle "Starla" at night?!! FORGET ABOUT IT! 

We actually have a lot of fun at the apartment when all the four Elders get back. We all sit on the couches (Except my companion, he goes in his room and spends the night talking on the phone... I'm convinced it's Lafawnduh) and we talk about ...........(stuff)    and take funny pictures. Something I havent mentioned, people are CRAZY about funerals here. They print out huge posters and put them in various locations as an invitation to the world. It's almost always a picture of the deceased person, sitting on a throne with a golden staff and a crown, like they were some kind of royalty, when really the person probably owned a barber shop down the street. We did the deed of replicating the photo for you. Enjoy.

Q:  Tell me something you have learned from your personal studies.

A:  I've learned never to study on my bed. My bed is an hour advancing time machine... it's a strange phenomenon.

Q:  What kind of responsibilities does the DL have and do you go with him when he does them?

A:   Being a DL is seriously like any other missionary. Just more babysitting than usual. He mostly take calls and interviews Baptismal candidates.

Q:  Tell me something you've learned in your Companion studies.

A:   I've learned that my time machine doesn't operate during said time. 

Q:  Do you have a senior couple in your branch?  How is the leadership?  Is the branch president a new convert or has he been a member for awhile?

A:   The Bodines are in Ho. They are Rockstars. Our Branch President is an amazing man and has been a member for A YEAR. I'll write more on him later for "a Christmas special."

Q:  Is the mission pres. going to have any kind of party for you guys for Christmas?

A:  We  are having our Samoan and Tongan Elders slay a pig and roast it for us. We have Zone Conference this Friday and that'll be all we see of our MP. He's very very busy. 

Q:  What do people do if the lights go out at night?  do they have candles?

A:    They light their... uhh... YES.

You're all awesome! Keep getting buckets!

Me lor wo ka ka!  (I LOVE YOU MUCH MUCH!)